Pride Leading to Destruction

Pride lead to my fall--

Today as I read and looked at the scriptures surrounding the stories of Job and Peter in the story, I became acutely aware of where my pride lies within my own life. In so many areas of Job's life he was righteous but that was just it he had great pride in the fact that he was righteous. Only God is righteous. In Peter's life he had great pride in his strength. Despite Jesus telling him to his face that his pride would lead him to his own destruction, he wouldn't listen. Peter even vehemently declared to Jesus' face that he was wrong.

I examine my own life and realize that is/was me. I was thin again and I thought I knew what to do to stay thin. NO way was I going to eat in such a way that would cause me to do contrary to that. Uh yeah...pride before the fall. As I stated before, it crept in slowly till the unhealthy eating overcame me and now I am 35 lbs overweight again.

My Current Path--

I have a lot of work to do to get back to where I need to spiritually and physically. The task seems overwhelming especially with that vast number staring me in the face. Also, my health of my back and nervous system, and my advancing age (52) lead me to want to discouragement. My only hope is to repent of this pride and trust that God will lead me to renewed strength, health and His loving arms. Even if I am never completely healthy or slim, I know I have Christ and to cling to the guidance of his Holy Spirit, no matter what my outward appearance, is my joy and strength. I don't know how, but I know that He can lead me to conquer the demons that have entangled me.

Truly Free Journey Day 2

Today as I sit down with my cup of coffee and read, some interesting revelations were brought to the forefront for me. Through reading Truly Free today God revealed to me warnings of to the way I have let Satan into my life and to take control. I understand how Pastor Robert talks about how not all things that go wrong or disease are because of Satan, but in the repetition of succumbing or repeatedly believing a lie Satan can take hold.
1) Repeated sin-I have willfully and repeatedly over and over chose to eat unhealthy foods. This sin has lead me into bondage not freedom. The good news is that I can become free from this bondage to sin. Jesus can set me free. I feel I must give the Holy Spirit permission/freedom to rid me of my bondage to an unhealthy diet. I have let food be my master-sugar, fried foods, high calorie foods or just eating too much. I have felt the weight of this bondage for some time. I have cried and chastised myself (as I mentioned yesterday), but God has heard my cry and brought me to his anointed word through Pastor Robert Morris. In his openness to share what God has taught him and scripture I see that I have served the devil as my master by succumbing to making those unhealthy choices.

2) My continued illness and unhealthy eating stems from a deeper childhood issue, as well. I remember people referring to me as fat or "just not as skinny or as pretty as my sister." I have lived out those words from Satan all my life. From my image of myself to every ongoing or past sin I have committed is either from trying to be as pretty or cute as others or dictating my view of myself through my weight. I have let commercialism, even others advice on beauty, dictate my decisions. I judge myself based on the other people around, yet never feeling as beautiful or as thin as those around me. In addition, I have felt "well I can never be as thin as.... or skinny enough and I have just believed I can never master my weight. It doesn't matter how much I weigh, I always see a fat girl in the mirror. I then go through the motions of what an out of control eating diet. I let satan's lies be my master, thus these lies increased my insecurities in who I am. A direct quote from the book as given me hope that I will gain a new perspective of myself and my sin:

"God has a purpose for you and me. We can't fulfill that purpose unless we take care of our bodies. We need to take care of the temple of the Lord."

And I would add, "but don't let that temple become your god." It is not about my body it is about my relationship with my Father God freeing me from the lies of the enemy.

3) Continued influence- I see now how I have allowed continued influence from satan skew my thinking. I need to stay away from influences of the occult and satan. I must walk humbly realizing I am vulnerable to the lies of the evil one.

Remember today, "He who is in you is greater than the who is in the world." I John 4:4 and "If the Son makes  you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

I have confessed to God the sinful lies that I have bought into and made myself bondage to gluttony and wrong views of my physical worth. I ask God to set me free from my bonds, to deliver me. Deliver me Lord. May all spiritual oppression be done away with. Fill me with the full measure of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus name, Amen